How to Handle Loneliness During the Holidays

It is no secret that what we hope will be a season of joy can end up feeling busy, stressful, and lonely. Whether you are living far away from loved ones, grieving a loss, navigating health challenges, or experiencing social struggles, the negative feelings surrounding isolation and disconnection from others can turn up a notch during a time when it appears everyone else is celebrating.  This can impact cognitive health, self-regulation, and overall health and well-being. Let’s explore loneliness during the holiday season, how it affects brain health, and how we can support ourselves and clients through this time of year using a mix of compassion and evidence-informed strategies. 

Why Does Loneliness Increase During the Holidays?

This time of year brings a mix of events and emotions that can intensify loneliness. First of all, social comparisons are at their peak. Whether through commercials, social media, or in-store shopping, holiday messaging promotes themes of close-knit families, cheerful traditions, and moments of connection. Therefore, clients may compare their own personal situations to unrealistic visuals, amplifying self-deprecatory feelings and withdrawal. 

Secondly, the holiday bustle disrupts routines. Time off from school, work, and general daily structure can significantly unanchor those with ADHD, executive functioning difficulties, anxiety, and depression. Decreased routine and consistency leave more time to ponder what may be missing (even if nothing truly is). 

In addition, the holiday season and traditions typically ignite old memories and feelings, which may be tied to trauma, emotional pain, and overload. 

Lastly, the holidays are a time of closure and rest, which also applies to clinics, schools, and community-based programs. Pauses in these services can result in temporary gaps in structured support and stability.

The Cognitive Cost of Loneliness

Cognitive performance across domains can decline when experiencing loneliness.

• Attention: Decreased focus, concentration, and task completion
• Processing Speed: Decreased efficiency due to cognitive overload
• Working Memory: Less readily available cognitive resources due to overthinking
• Executive Functioning: Decreased ability to initiate, plan, and problem-solve tasks
• Brain Fog: Emotional fatigue clouding the mind

In older populations, the risk of cognitive decline increases significantly with chronic loneliness. For younger populations, isolation can heighten anxiety and depression, directly influencing cognitive engagement and academic functioning in the long run. 

Awareness and understanding of connections between feelings of isolation and cognitive functioning assist clinicians in validating the lived experience of clients and curating meaningful goals and interventions.

Warnings Signs of Holiday Loneliness 

Most people do not come out and say ‘I feel lonely.” This may be an embarrassing, overwhelming, and anxiety-provoking experience to discuss aloud. However, you may notice a client displaying:

• Increased forgetfulness or inattention
• Withdrawal from therapy or social activities
• Irritability, sadness, or tearfulness
• Trouble initiating or completing daily routines
• Increased worry or catastrophic thinking
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyable hobbies
  

Gentle, open-ended questions can help clients express themselves without shame.

How Clinicians, Educators, and Caregivers Can Help

1. Validation

Normalizing the disconnect one may feel during a time that boasts “togetherness”. Validating clients’ experiences and ensuring a safe space to express is important. 

2. Setting up a Holiday Routine

A consistent routine with clear expectations and organization can help ground cognition and prevent mental burnout. Keep it simple! Such as:

• Morning self-check-in
• A brief walk or stretch
• One meaningful daily task
• Scheduled downtime
• Evening wind-down ritual

3. Accessible Connection

Develop ways to experience human connection throughout the season. These can include:

• Short phone calls or voice messages with friends or family members
• Joining a community event (faith-based, library, city-sponsored)
• Online support groups
• Participating in a hobby-based group (gaming, crafting, book clubs)
• Writing holiday cards or notes

4. Promoting Healthy Habits

Support brain health by integrating general wellness.

• Hydration
• Balanced nutrition
• Regular sleep
• Appropriate sensory input (lighting, noise control)
• Light physical activity (walking, seated chair exercises, stretching)

5. Build Coping Strategies and Skills 

Tailored to the client’s needs, such as:

• Self-regulation strategies
• Mindfulness or grounding
• Emotion labeling
• Cognitive reframing
• Behavioral activation
• Gratitude practices (journaling, meditation)

How HappyNeuron Pro Can Help 

HappyNeuron Pro online cognitive exercises can create structure, purpose, and mental engagement during a time of year that is both emotionally heavy and socially chaotic. 

Providers may use Happy Neuron Pro to: 

• Assign cognitive online “workouts” (home digital exercises) to develop a more consistent daily or weekly schedule
• Pair cognitive training activities with self-regulation strategies (Ie, deep breathing before each task, practicing frustration tolerance techniques with task performance).
• Support sustained attention and memory for clients experiencing brain fog.
• Create a sense of accomplishment and success, which counters feelings of stagnation or disconnection.
• Provide a group activity that reinforces interaction.

When regular sessions or social engagements pause during the holiday season, logging into an online platform like Happy Neuron Pro can become a stabilizing habit, giving them a goal to work toward.

Tips for Clients to Support Themselves During the Season

Here are simple strategies clients can try to help build cognitive and emotional resilience:

• Make one small plan each week. (This could include coffee with a friend, a craft event, a library visit.)
• Limit access to social media if it impacts mood.
• Develop personal traditions that don’t rely on other people. (Get creative! This could include listing goals for the new year, volunteering, crafting, watching a favorite movie, cooking for yourself, and so much more.)
• Use sensory strategies and environmental supports (weighted blankets, calming lights, candles, essential oils, etc.)
• Engage in some form of movement daily.
• Set a “connection goal” such as reaching out to one person per week.
• Create a holiday music playlist, a go-to comfort movie list, or a journaling routine.

Putting some of these tasks on a list or setting an alarm can assist in developing habit-forming rituals and routines.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness during the holiday season is more common than many realize, driven by classic holiday narratives and the shame and stigma around feelings of solitude. With empathy, guided support, and the right tools, clients can better conquer the holiday months with increased connection, attunement, and clarity. 

Clinicians can help by recognizing signs of holiday loneliness, providing a safe space for open conversation, and offering realistic strategies to address each individual’s needs.